How + Why to Declutter Your RelationshipsJun 30, 2022
Let's go ahead and set the record straight here.
People are not clutter. Relationships can be cluttered.
Before I explain, let's get on the same page about clutter. We often think of clutter as the things we don't need, that have no and serve no purpose. That definition makes it hard to assign the label of clutter to the relationships in our lives. We assume that saying a relationship is cluttered means that a person serves no value has no purpose or isn't needed.
What if we looked at clutter differently?
What if we saw clutter as the things (people, places, actions, etc.) that are misaligned with the life we desire to create?
How could we look at our relationships then?
So much clutter is created because we do what we've always done even when it no longer serves us.
That's also true in our relationships.
The clutter of a relationship isn't about the person as much as it is about the why.
Decades long friendships aren't less cluttered because of age.
Familial relationships aren't less cluttered because we are bound by blood.
Romantic relationships aren't less cluttered because there's love in them.
Why are you in this relationship?
How does that serve the life you desire to create?
If your answers align with who you desire to become and the life you desire to lead, continue on.
If they don't, it's time to declutter.
You can do this in two ways:
Work on it
- Share your thoughts and feelings about the nature and state of the relationship
- Embody your boundaries so that others will understand how you desire to interact with them
- Seek to shift the way you interact. Invite the people in your life to participate in experiences aligned with the life you desire to lead.
Create space in the relationship
While I highly recommend speaking your truth first, sometimes you'll find that people are not ready to meet you where you are. When that is the case, it may mean that you need to create more space. You can do this by investing your time more and more in the relationships that feel aligned.
Where will you start in your relationships?