Craft the life you desire with these 3 powerful questions.Nov 08, 2020
Ask the right questions. Of all the things I’ve learned in my decluttering journey, this has been the greatest lesson. Asking the right questions are the difference between decluttering a space over and over and decluttering it once a year. Asking the right questions are also the difference between continuing the life you’ve always known and living the life you desire.
As you declutter, focusing on how you fill the space will be just as important as the action of letting go. Today, I’m sharing 3 questions you can use to fill your space and leverage your new opportunities after decluttering. If you’re ready to create the life you desire to lead, start with these questions.
So what are the right questions to ask as you declutter and craft the life you desire?
- How can I honor what I value?
- How can I honor what I love?
- How can I honor who do I desire to become?
Question 1: How can I honor what I value?
Our values are our compass. When we live in alignment with our values, we feel a sense of happiness, contentment, and joy. When we don’t, we find ourselves feeling anxious, stressed, and frustrated. Think about it – what’s happening in your life today that you love? Do you find that this also happens to be in alignment with your values?
As it stands today, these 5 values are most important to me:
When I look back at the life I’ve led, I can quickly see why some life choices created fulfillment, while others created discontent.
Travel, one of my favorite activities, gives me the freedom to explore and assists me in becoming a better human (aka self-actualize). Conversely, many of the roles I accepted in corporate America missed the mark. I often felt a lack of appreciation, stability, and freedom. As a result, even though I maintained these role for years, I often felt stressed and frustrated by the life I’d created.
When I think about my home, I do my best to honor these values as well. Maintaining a decluttered home allows me the freedom to use my space and time according to my will. I feel a sense of peace and control and a desire to focus on activities that support my desires. When my space becomes cluttered, I don’t feel “free”. Instead, I feel the need to escape and avoid my own reality.
Question 2: How can I honor what I love?
Recently, I sat with a client after evaluating her values and desires. After completing the exercise, she state, “I realize a lot of times we do things and keep doing things and we say it’s alright and it’s gonna be okay, but it’s not alright, we’re not alright”. Decluttering taught me this same lesson.
While it would be naïve to believe that we will only do what we love, that doesn’t mean that we can’t create an abundance of it. Too often, we are living a life void of we love. Our favorite pictures are stuffed in drawers, our homes are so messy we don’t invite the people we love to visit, the things tied to our favorite hobby are collecting dust and “busyness” fills our schedules instead of what we enjoy. Rather than, make a change, we just keep going and hoping it will get better.
When we take the time to identify what we love and compare that with the life we lead, we can shift this behavior.
Since I started decluttering, I’ve actively started doing more of what I love:
- I decreased time spent working after-hours for my job, so I could build Nacho Average Fro.
- I cut shopping sprees and unnecessary spending so I could transition into van life and spend more time with friends and family.
- I added “eat out” days to my schedule/budget so I can fulfill my foodie desires.
- I also saved money for travel excursions so I can do cool stuff when I see my friends.
- I even showcase items from loved ones in our van so I can be surrounded by things from people I love.
I don’t get to do the things I love every single day, but identifying what I love was the first step needed to start incorporating these things into my life.
Question 3: How can I honor who I desire to become?
Where are you headed?
Often times, we get new jobs, start new diets, and implement new “life hacks” without first defining what we are working towards. Then when it doesn’t lead us where we wanted to go, we say “it didn’t work”. Our decluttering journeys are no different. We start tossing out stuff and hope that with our newfound space, we’ll create a home or a life we love. Then because we lack direction, we find ourselves using our newfound space and opportunity on things, commitments, and expenses that don’t serve us.
One thing I’ve learned about myself is that I have a tendency to be a workaholic. I don’t desire to maintain this pattern. As a result, I’m looking at how I structure my business and how I create true work-life balance. I’m also thinking about my hobbies and how I’m creating time for them. It’s not easy, but being intentional about building a life my future self will enjoy is worth it. How can you honor who you desire to become?
Answer these questions.
As you answer each of these questions, you’ll identify the “things”, activities and expenses that can help you build the life you desire. After decluttering, you’ll be able to use this information to help you build and live a life abundant with what you love.