Here's why I'm crying.Mar 01, 2021
Earlier this year, I shared with you that I was featured in Forbes. I also shared that I cried A LOT after the article was released. I can be somewhat emotional, but the level of emotion I was feeling caught me off guard. So I started asking, what’s this all about?
Is it the significance of the accomplishment? I mean… it’s not everyday you get this kind of opportunity. After some soul-searching, I realized that the emotions were the result of something wayyy bigger than Forbes. In my life (short as it may be) I’ve lived through a multitude of experiences that led me to believe I was not enough. What started at a young age, heightened in corporate America.
I didn’t feel like enough when:
- My supervisor (who looked like me) pulled me aside to have a chat about my fro and shared how I should consider a style that would “make others feel comfortable” as if my accolades and the 3.97 GPA I used to get the job didn’t matter.
- Another supervisor told me that she didn’t think I was prepared to be promoted, so she offered me a higher quota and larger customers without a raise in pay so I could “prove myself” - even though I'd just won an award for being top 8% in the company.
- That same supervisor told me I was “lucky” to be getting a raise at my age even after she promoted me for proving myself in just 3 months.
Through these experiences and others, I internalized that no matter what I accomplish, it won’t be enough. For years, I gave my all to the accomplishments the world told me would bring me success and fulfillment and it left me feeling empty and unworthy.
When I started decluttering, I thought I just wanted things to be better.
It wasn’t until this year that I understood what I truly wanted.
For example, when I started Nacho Average Fro, I thought I just wanted to do work I enjoyed. The truth is I wanted to build a life where I could be valued, recognized, and applauded for just being. That’s why Forbes made me so emotional. It was the culmination of what I truly wanted. For years, followers of Nacho Average Fro have liked, shared and commented in support of me just being me. For years, subscribers and followers have read the blogs and sat in on hour-long live videos where I shared my story. For years, I’ve been doing what I love and I’ve been applauded and accepted by a tribe who just wants me to be myself.
I wasn’t crying solely about Forbes. I was crying because I finally realized I had built the life I so desperately craved - a life that reflected that I was enough.
Every time I think about that I basically descend into a puddle of tears (I kinda feel like crying now as I write this lol).
This is why I am so passionate about decluttering. I don’t know what your experiences in life have been, but if they’ve been anything like mine, they’ve led you to believe something that just isn’t true.
Here is the truth: You are enough. You always have been and always will be.
That means that your desires and your dreams, your likes and your quirks, and all the other things that make you, you are enough too.
Believing that starts with choosing to be yourself.
Designing your life is how you make that happen.
This weekend, I started working on new content (thanks to your suggestions) that will help you choose you - in your home, your habits, your finances and your commitments. I cannot wait to share more and help you build a life that will show you that you are enough too!
You are worthy of a life like that.
You always have been.