Why I Struggle to Make Time For Personal Goals.Jun 09, 2023
It's 7:36am, I need to take my hair down and haven't done my full face routine in probably like a week. I've been just kind of ripping and running. Today I was like, "No, today we're doing it - like the whole shebang.". The routine in and of itself takes 10 minutes tops, like it's not even that lengthy, but sometimes 10 minutes feels like a sacrifice to time I could be spending in my business or time I could be spending doing something from my 9-to-5 and I was just thinking about that.
I was thinking about the mental struggle that high achieving, you know six figure plus 9-to-5ers who also run a side hustle struggle with because it always feels like there's a constant pull on your time. Not only that, but so much of our identity is wrapped up in our work. Like for me, my goals are so like, simple these days. I almost want to say boring but we'll go with simple because it used to be like:
- Lose all of this weight!
- Get a promotion!
- Go get a masters!
- Learn another language!
I used to have all of these really big, very cerebral, intellectual goals (and then also my physical fitness was in there too), but mostly, it was it was all about like, how can I get the next accolade, the next promotion, the next bump in my salary?
And now my goals are just like:
- I want to go see my dad every Saturday and spend 4 hours with him.
- I wanna practice the piano every week and consistently go to piano class.
- I want to do my full face routine before I go to work in the morning and before I start working on my business on the weekend.
I want to do all that and I think in my mind like those goals don't feel lofty enough.
I think for a lot of us who are juggling both sometimes those goals don't feel like big enough. The reality is like that's huge because we actually don't know how to do that. And I like I feel like that's such an important thing to just take a moment to think about.
I also don't celebrate enough of my simple boring wins. You know, like, if I want if I do my full face routine this morning, that is such a huge win. Because it's it's one more day that I didn't wake up and open up my laptop or it's one more day that I didn't shove everything that helps me care for myself aside so I could do something for my business or so I could do something for my employer. You know?
It's like we we often don't see the value in some of those like simple and boring goals because we we don't value that in our in our own lives. So much of what we have valued is our ability to achieve in our work and so it's like who cares if I wash my face and do the full routine today? But that's huge.
It's no longer like:
- How can I get the next promotion?
- How can I get the next accolade?
- How can I do the next this?
- How can I be better to myself?
- How can I be a better daughter?
- How can I be a better friend?
You know? And in the long run, I think that's what we really that's what most of us wake up caring about in our 30s or in our late 20s. For me, I I don't want to look up and have my business but have no real relationships and not have a connection to my parents and you know not really even know myself.
So, I was just thinking about that today and I was I was thinking about how like those goals seem simple and boring yet those those same goals or the actions that support those goal trigger me so much because it it rubs up against this identity, right? It requires me to let go of an old identity and step into this new one and there's friction there. Because then [I think] but can I be good to myself? Can I be a good friend can I be a good daughter? You know can I because I don't know that world. (I don't know that that's true, but that's what I hear in my mind). Like I don't know that world. I know how to be good at my job.
I feel [this is] a little like a stream of consciousness, but those are my thoughts this morning and I wanted to get them down and I wanted to encourage you to lean into those moments.
The goals may seem simple and boring and maybe not valuable, but the reality is like they're so important because you know deep down at the end of the day you desire to build a life that includes more than just your business. So you have to start practicing, building that life and even if it's your 10-minute morning routine. That is a win and it feels small, but it's huge because you're learning how to make room for more than just your work.
So, lean into that.
Even if it feels triggering, even if it feels tough, even if you feel like you don't know what you're doing.